32-year-old man demands fiancée move out of his place after she refuses to help him pay living expenses, while constantly treating her coworkers to food and coffee: 'She's so generous to them but keeps score with me'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 15, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Say what you will about relationships and romance, but things work a lot better if a couple treats each other as equals. It's great to treat each other and to buy one another gifts, but at a certain point in the relationship, things must even out.

Take the couple in the story below as an example of a terrible way to divide the responsibilities of the relationship. The fiancé carries the entire financial burden of both of their lives–he owns the house they live in, pays the bills, the groceries, and never asks his girlfriend to pitch in or pay for anything whatsoever.

She, on the other hand, does absolutely nothing in return. Not only that, she has no problem treating her coworkers to lunches and coffees, but as soon as her fiancé mentions something about the electricity bill, she starts an argument.

One argument got so heated that it ended with the fiancé asking her to move out of his house…

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  • 01
    Man and woman fighting on a couch
    via Kaspars Grinvalds

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my fiancée to move out after a fight about how she treats me vs her coworkers?

    I (32M) work from home making over $100k/year. My fiancée (30F) is a doctor earning around $150k- $200k.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 03
    We live in *my* house. Since she's saving for her residency, I've never asked her to pay rent, utilities, or groceries.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 04
    I handle most household chores because I know her job is demanding. I cook for her, make sure her bed's ready, and basically try to make home a place where she can rest without worrying about money or chores.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 05
    Recently, I found out she treats her coworkers every single day. She admits she's a people pleaser, so I let it slide at first.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 06
    But it hit me if she can be that generous with other people, why does it feel like everything she does for me comes with conditions or strings attached?
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 07
    Example: I asked her to turn off the lights once because our electric bill hit $1,000 (about $200 USD).
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 08
    She angrily handed me $40 for electricity the *only* time she's ever chipped in for bills, even though I pay about $800- $1,000/month.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 09
    She's complained about the cost of rides from my place to work, but even with that, she saves more living here than renting her own place.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 10
    One day she had the day off and actually slept well. I asked her to wash the dishes.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 11
    She got mad and called her mom to join the argument something I've told her before is a dealbreaker.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 12
    This wasn't the first time she's dragged her family into our disagreements.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 13
    Today we argued again when she was telling me (cheerfully) how she regularly buys her coworkers food and coffee.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 14
    I told her it hurts that she's so generous to them but keeps score when it comes to me.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10541903360
    via TITOVA ILONA

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 16
    She tracks everything she gives me but not what she gives them.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 17
    In the heat of the moment, I said, "If this is how it's going to be, just move out."
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 18
    I know that was harsh, but I'm feeling unappreciated and like we're not really partners more like I'm a live-in support system while she gives her best to other people.
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 19
    AITA for saying that? Or am I just being overly sensitive and not understanding how stressful her job is?
    via No-Interaction4691
  • 20
    Certain-Thought531 NTA she treats you like a doormat, good thing your spine started to grow finally. The very fact that she goes as far as to call her mother to
    via Certain-Thought531
  • 21
    gang on you for some dishes is very telling, are you sure you want to marry into this?
    via No-Certain-Thought531
  • 22
    Vivid-Farm6291 Sounds like she is using you so she can afford her residency and after she is set up she will either ditch you or keep you because you pamper her and it doesn't cost her a dime.
    via Vivid-Farm6291
  • 23
    Find a partner that won't hesitate to pamper you and appreciate that you pamper them. ΝΤΑ
    via Vivid-Farm6291
  • 24
    Corfiz74 I didn't know house-elves existed in real life. OP, here is your sock: You are A FREE ELF!!! Go thrive in her absence!
    via Corfiz74
  • 25
    Achilles_TroySlayer NTA. If she has you on such a tight money-leash, she doesn't see you as a partner. You have some sort of promise of future- benefit after you are married, but that sounds very uncertain. It seems more likely to blow up, the way you describe it.
    via Achilles_TroySlayer

  • Reading this story makes me appreciate the way my partner and I handle our financial situation, and it teaches us how important it is to share the responsibilities of the household, no matter what.

    No one should carry that weight alone.

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relationship advice drama coworkers relationship-drama reddit story relationships aio advice couples love food fiancé move out Reddit money fiancee dating
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